This may seem a secondary theme.
And yet, judging by the abundance of comments, anecdotes and testimonials received in the course of our survey blaming the absence of listening in the company, there is a close link between the listening skills of managers and the motivation of those they manage. Or, to be more precise, between the absence of listening and demotivation.(...)
What is listening? Everyone thinks they know what it is and, more importantly, how to put it into practice. Surprisingly, no manager has ever asked us to help them develop their listening skills! The feeling of being listened to is directly linked to the need for recognition. And it's this latter need that is always cited in first place to explain demotivation.
Are you a good listener?
Do this little test: imagine that a good colleague comes to you and says: "I don't know what's going on, but I feel like I can't do it anymore. The pressure has become too great. Internal and external customers are demanding more and more, and the working atmosphere is deteriorating. I'm seriously wondering whether I'm going to give up."
Take a sheet of paper and write down your response.
When someone speaks to us, we have 6 ways of listening:
1 - Evaluative listening
I'm going to pass judgment on what has just been said. Evaluative listening means evaluating the message we receive in a quasi-binary way - good or bad, true or false, fair or unfair.
Example: "You know, wherever you go, you'll find the same difficulties: demanding customers and colleagues."
2 - Interpretative listening
In my own world, based on my own experience, I look for reasons that can explain the message I'm receiving.
Example: "You're overworked at the moment, and when you're overworked, you feel like dropping everything...".
3 - Supportive listening
I provide support and comfort. My listening is oriented towards offering a helping shoulder. The paternal/maternal instinct comes into play.
Example: "Don't worry, we all feel this way at one time or another. But we're a team and everyone appreciates you. You know you can count on me."
4 - Listening for solutions
I suggest what the sender should do.
Example: "Try taking a few days off and get some fresh air. There's nothing like long walks in the mountains to recharge your batteries."
5 - Investigative listening
The receiver of the message will ask new questions to find out more.
For example, " What actually happened?" "Did you have any conflicts?"
6 - Listening for understanding
I reformulate the sender's thoughts in my own words. This allows me to check my understanding of the message and to encourage the sender, if necessary, to clarify his or her thoughts.
Example: "Do you think there's more and more stress in professional relationships, and that working relationships are deteriorating, and on top of that you're wondering whether you should leave the company?"
Only the last two listening attitudes (inquiry and understanding) are part of authentic, profound and ultimately motivating listening, because they involve genuine recognition of others.
Take a step back from your exchanges with your colleagues. Try to analyze the way you listen, and you'll notice with regret that attitudes of inquiry and understanding are often absent, and that we are very quick to judge (evaluate), suggest (solve) and sometimes support.
(...)
Source: " The Art of Motivation " - Michaël AGUILAR - DUNOD - 2009